Tiger Woods is ALL OVER THE NEWS! This is what went down. Allegedly. His wife hit him, because he hit this:

Then he got in his car and hit this:

And finally this:

Anyways, that is one of the versions going around right now. Who really cares though? Except for everyone.

Wanna know what I am really caring about? The fact that Tiger met his wife, Elin, because she was working as a nanny for his fellow golf pro, and friend, Jesper Parnevik. Really Mrs. Parnevik? You hired her as a nanny for your family?

HER:

I mean, I appreciate the fact that you must have enormous self confidence and feel so secure in your marriage. Girl Power! Yeah! High five! But, REALLY?

I feel OK about myself most of the time. I have your usual lows. Your usual, “Oh, God, don’t look at me! I’m a monster, LOOK AWAY! For the love of God, look away!!” moments, but for the most part I am a fairly confident, 31 year old girl, who trusts my husband.

Does this mean I would ever hire a perfect alien specimen such as that, or even anything bearing any sort of resemblance to a perfect alien specimen such as that, to work in my house, around my husband everyday? Can I get a fuck no ladies? I mean COME ON Mrs. P! She is a hot. She is Swedish. She is a nanny. HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED LIFETIME TELEVISION OR BAD PORN? Major fail! We all know what happens at the end of this movie. And I’m not boil a bunny jealous or anything like that. I can appreciate a beautiful woman. I just don’t want her to live with us.

I’m not walking around with drool on my shirt, that I wore yesterday, and a shitty kid on my hip, while a chick like that serves my hubby a cold beer and dinner with a smile. It would be like living with a really hot Hooters chick or Victoria Secret model 24/7. Errr, thanks, but no thanks. Mommy don’t play dat.

Now, I’m not saying its a fact that my husband, or your husband, or anyone’s husband would, without a doubt, stray if a hot Swedish nanny like Elin was hired. But, well, it definitely increases the odds to like 100% or something really high and definite like that.

And who needs that extra stress anyways? I sure as shit don’t!

Besides, this looks way more like someone you could trust with your children!! Am I not right ladies? Just a gut feeling.