I have a farm. A little farm in my computer. It’s where a lot of my friends live, too. In my computer. It works out great. I make all the calls. There are no surprise drop-ins. I only talk to them when I want to. I can turn them all off with the click of a button when I’m feeling anti-social.

I am so successful in my little internet world. Completely timely and responsible.

I keep my little Farm in tip-top shape. I am always organizing my animals and harvesting my crops.

I keep in touch with friends and family. I regularly initiate conversations with them via email. I am the one who reaches out. “Hey you, its me! I just wanted to see how you were?!! Love you!”

Did I mention I maintain a fucking farm? With horses, rabbits, ducks, trees (of all kind you guys)! Sometimes I harvest potatoes, sometimes watermelon. But, I never kill them and I make some pretty good coins off of them.

On the other hand, in my real life, the mum that is ten feet from where I am sitting, on my front porch, is dead. All the pretty purple mums, that I never transplanted to the actual pretty pot, look like little brown shriveled balls. My voicemail has about 25 unheard messages. I have Ben-Gay in the pantry and a bag of chips on my desk. I love all my friends dearly, but seldom call them first and sometimes don’t call them back at all! Oh, and don’t even get me started on my closets. Disaster.

I mean, really guys, I can spend 20 minutes maintaining a farm online, yet I cannot step outside and water my mum? For shame!

This got me thinking. I should create a software program that would allow me to organize my closets and pantry, water my plant plants, handle my relationships, and everything else going on in my real life, ONLINE! I would be god damn Super Woman if I excelled in real life like I do in my internet world.

The hubs would come home from work…

“What’s there to eat, babe?”

And I would tell him….

Log on to the computer, go to Local Disk (C:) – then go here -  C:\Documents and Settings\Allison Zapata\My Documents\Nothing:It’sWhat’sForDinner.

Brilliant.