I am a domestic goddess. Also, it’s opposite day.
So, remember that Allison 2.0 bullshit I told y’all about a while back?
We’ve had a slight change in casting.
Meet, Allison 0.5.
*waves*
Let us count the ways I have regressed, shall we?
We will start with a tour of my two year old’s room.
Not too bad, huh? It’s pretty clean and there are pictures up and everything!
And not just any pictures!
I totally have one of those “My First Year” picture frames. You know, the ones that chronicle the first 12 months of your precious child’s life, all in one place.
Let’s take a closer look.
And……
We have this drawer in our kitchen.
I’ll just let it speak for itself.
I’m constantly telling the man, “Oh my god, dude, the trashcan is right next to the drawer! Lazy!”
But, come a little closer and I will tell you a super top secret secret…
Come on, don’t be shy.
Just a liiiiiittle closer….
Ewww, not that close weirdo.
Okay, there is good.
Ready?
I, too, let the beer caps fall where they may.
Which would be in the drawer, next to the bottle opener, three steps from the trashcan.
*blinks*
Back to the drawing board….








Heather
LMAO!!!! The picture frame shit is PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Val
A – That is a clean-ass toddler room. You suck.
B – I do not see a speck of dust or dirt or grime in that drawer. You suck.
admin
DUDE. He just sleeps in there. You should see the playroom and the den.
Alana
I totally do that too, with the bottle caps. My trash can is about five steps away. What can I say? I’m lazy.
Jennifer
I have a frame like that too, but it is silver. The pictures on the outside are Baby Girl. NO picture is in the middle. She is FIVE. She will be SIX in December. I have had that frame since my very first mother’s day. Needless to say, David did not buy me one for Bud.
admin
hahaha! we rule!
Paige
Love the frame! I have a pottery barn one in the box, never put the pictures in. I was going to re-gift it but one of the kids spilled apple juice on the box, so now it sits, collecting dust, taunting me!
admin
I think the one I got was regifted! ha!
Allison @ House of Hepworths
Hey Allison, it’s Allison.
OMG, I’m so glad I found you via twitter b/c you are so freaking hilarious! A girl after my own heart (but I think you are funnier.)
I look forward to meeting you.
~Allison @ House of Hepworths
admin
DUDE!!! Thank you! Where are in you TX?!
Jess@Straight Talk
We have about 5 or 10 in the laundry room. Because he pops the top, puts it in his pocket, and that’s where it stays.
Meredith
Okay, so here’s the deal. Have you read the post where I show what my closet looks like in real life? It’s like a fucked up game of I-Spy acoording to my readers.
Deidra
I’m a slob too.
But shh, don’t tell anyone! So far, you’re only being slightly inspiring. haha
Lesley
So, I’ve read your ramblings a few times, but never commented. Just wanted to make my first comment count …so here goes. * Cracks knuckles, shifts in seat *
You chick, are so hilarious that I pee just about every single time I read something you’ve concocted. Cut it out or I’m going to have to start carrying around clean underpants.
admin
dude. thank you so so much! this comment made me SMILE! Sorry about the underwear thing. I’ll send you a few extra pairs
Thanks for reading and for commenting!!
XOXO
Old School/New School Mom
I don’t know what it is about the trash can. Wil does the same thing! Except it’s kind of worse. He leaves empty containers of things in the fridge when he could EASILY throw them out.
The first year frame is fucking hilarious! I have that same frame somewhere…
statia
Dude, when your house looks like this: http://www.failuretonap.com/?p=4787
Come and talk to me. I won’t even go into the massive amounts of dog hair that pile up in the corners of my house. Or that I have random shit everywhere.
statia
Also? Did you make that bed? It’s full of win.