We just bid farewell to our house guest of 10 days, Hector Dupree.

Dupree and my husband have been friends forever. And when I say forever I mean, like, before they sprouted their first pubic hair type, forever.

Since I adore most all of my husband’s friends, when he told me he was coming to stay at Motel Chateau Zapata for a week, it was absolutely no big thang.

So, Dupree left yesterday, and I was a little more emotional than I’d expected to be.

Luca and I waved good-bye to him from our stoop porch.

We watched him drive away.

We stepped back inside and closed the door behind us.

We wept *not really* and Luca and I began to talk.

(OK, I talk and he says weird baby things back to me. WHATEVS. That’s not the point.)

Who was gonna watch Oprah with us?

*bottom lip quivering*

The Real Housewives of Orange County had become our thing. Even if it was just because Dupree liked to stare at their things.

*sobbing*

With Dupree here, we had to drink every night. It would be so totally dickish to not offer a glass of wine to our guest.

We may be a lot of things, but we are not dicks. No sir.

Also, it totally felt like I had a manny! Although I have never really wanted a manny, I can certainly see their appeal now.

It’s just like a nanny, only without the bitchy attitude, the making your kids call her mommy, and the trying to fuck your husband things.

YOU turn off Lifetime and get a life! Gah!

Anyways,  Dupree would also buy me hideous really cute little things like this from H-E-B.

If I were a grown up, and I acted serious and stuff, I would probably allude to the fact that I was alluding to the fact that, it was kind of nice to have someone around during the day that could hold a conversation beyond, “sheep. neeeeigh.”

Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t all loaded baked potatoes and movie style nachos with extra cheese rainbows & butterflies.

Like, for example, what in the hell makes him think its OK to bring shit like this into my house?

And moresoherethoughinthereafteroverunder, what makes me think its OK to sit around and eat shit like that.

For a week.

I was dipping chips in dips like it was mah job!

And do you know how exhausting it is to pretend for a week that you are usually way more motivated and, well, um, active.

“Soooooo bummed about this weather Dupree!! Its totally fucking up my daily, two hour work-outs, man.”

“Ugggggggggh, I have been drinking way to much wine this week. No drinking for me next week, friend! Ha! Ha!”

“Golly, I’m really tired and lazy…today…for some reason. Weird. *laughs nervously*

With D gone, at least there will be no more conversations like this in the morning:

Dupree: Which one of you all came up to get Luca last night?

Me: ???

Dupree: He was crying, like at 1 a.m..

Me: Oh, he prolly just had a little nightmare. He cries really quick in his sleep sometimes. Silly little booger.

Dupree: Nooooooo, Allison, it was like 30 minutes.

Me: Are you sure?

Dupree: Yeeeeeah, it was like 30 minutes, Allison. I’m positive.

*crickets*

Awwwwwkward.

Most importantly! The thing I will not miss the most about Dupree, is having to put on a bra before 2 p.m. 11 a.m.

No girl should have to do that. Ever.

Like, E-V-A, ever.