I am headed to New York City (New York City?!) for BlogHer 2010.

I am not calm.

I am full of emotions.

The dialogue in my head right now goes a little something like this….

I am so excited!

What the hell are you doing, Allison? I’m so sure.

I am so pumped!

I’m so nervous I could puke.

I can’t wait to be there!

OMG, I sooooooo don’t want to go. Is that a cold your getting, Luca? You may be sick. I may have to stay home.

And on, and on, and on….

Not that any of this neurotic-ism is anything out of the norm for me but, really, I have never done anything like this before.

People not familiar with this big, bad-ass bloggy world, always ask me why I am going to New York.

Oh, it’s just a blogging conference.

I tell them.

You’re a writer?

No. I mean, yeah. Well, not really. I mean, kind of. A writer of bullshit. *haha* But, not a real writer like all the other people going. And also, because I have met a group of amazing people that I adore!

And really? That last part?  IS the reason I am going to BlogHer.

I am not going because I want to make money. I am not going because I want to win any awards, or gain recognition. Because, lets face it, I’m not the most consistent, or hardworking, or witty, or talented writers in this here blogosphere. Not by a long shot.

I am going because I adore this weird little blog world so much. The outlet it has become for me has been soul-saving. With each relationship I form, each writer I fall in love with, I get closer and closer to who I am.

The more I get to know all of these honest, talented, and open women, the more I open up.

I learn more about myself with every post I write, and every post I read.

Anyways, back to my basket-casedness…

I’ve spent the better part of the last few days thinking about what to pack.

I hear BlogHer can be like high school on steroids and that clothes are like a big fat deal there, yo. So I went to to try and buy a few items yesterday.  Apparently, my ass didn’t get the memo that skinny jeans are still in style. Whatevs. And also, HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS FRUSTRATING, trying on clothes with a kid is hard, y’all!

Anyhow, I get to escape for a couple of hours today, without the kid, to try and pick up a few “please be my friend and say I am pretty” items. Wish me luck pleaseandthankyou.

Also, if we happen to meet at BlogHer, you should know a couple of things…

My husband calls me “Mumbles” for a reason. I mumble. He’s always all, “Hey! Mumbles!” It’s totes my mafia name. So, if you don’t understand me, call me mumbles. Unless I am drunk, then just shut the fuck up. Just kidding.

I have to take xanax to fly. So, if I meet you on Thursday night (after I arrive) and seem a bit, oh I don’t know, CRAZY, give me a another shot on Friday.

But, the most important thing I want YOU to know about my BlogHer agenda?

Is that I have none.

I am there because I want to share with you! A laugh, a story, a drink, a hug, some tears, our common ground, our differences, and anything else you may want to share with me (besides like crabs or lice or gross shit like that).

I want to hang out and get to know YOU better. Not your blog, not your brand, not who you know….just YOU.

(also to get tipsy and not have to take care of a two year old)

And I am terrified can’t wait!!

See you fools day after tomorrow!