The Village Idiot
I’ve always prided myself on being a great speller.
I’ll admit, I can get crazy with the cheese whiz commas and I don’t even know some pretty basic stuff like what the hell “…” is technically called. It’s always been “dot dot dot” to me.
But, god damn it, I can spell some shit.
I mean, I won a spelling bee. Once. Yes, it was kindergarten and yes there were like 20 kids in the class. But, still, I fucking smoked that bitch with C-A-T.
With that said, sometimes I forget how to spell the dumbest, most basic words. Like, so dumb, I am embarrassed to give you examples dumb.
Like just now, in the previous sentence, I misspelled the word embarrassed.
But then the spell-check-know-it-all-asshole that lives in my computer was all, “Hey, you stupid hooker, YOU should be EMBARRASSED that you don’t know how to spell the word EMBARRASSED.”
There are certain words that I will never know for sure. I will never type and/or write them without doubting myself. Total mental defect.
Thankfully, in my internet world, I can be a total dumb ass and no one but me and the spell-check-know-it-all-asshole is aware.
But, shit you guys, I desperately need a spell check in the for real world.
You know, some sort of an application in my brain that prevents me from, I dunno, hanging THIRTY poster boards like this one ALL OVER my neighborhood:
How EMBARASSING! (Shut up spell check. It’s called a pun. Asshole.).
*I ended up finding the dogs’ owner. He was a total A-S-S.
Julie
I do the SAME THING ALL THE TIME. ALL the time. I can’t think of words specifically right now, but there are some words that I spell wrong every single time. But then there’s my mom who will forever and ever spell “Angela” like “Angelia” not matter how many times I tell her that that doesn’t even make sense. I spell embarrassed wrong all the time too. Like that time. And you wrote it like 85 times in that post! GAH!
admin
its not our fault whoever invented embarrassed spelled it wrong.
Mandi Bone
I can not spell. I am glad Google chrome puts the red squiggly line under the misspelled words.
admin
saves me every time!
Momma Chaos
*snort* Love it
At least it was just your neighborhood right?
I totally correctly spelled the WRONG word like 50zillion times in one of my recent blog posts. I didn’t even catch it until someone commented in a very nice way on twitter and used the correct word. Then I was all NO Way, you did not just say “cliche instead of clique”.. Omg I do know the meanings of both words but looked like a total ass for about 5minutes until I fixed it. lol.
Now no one that didn’t read it within the first 5mins knows that.. Well except for those that are reading your comments.. Crap!
admin
just ALL over my hood
Jennifer
I suck at spelling. I have lots of words that I spell wrong all the time. Like exercise and judgment. Like I can’t physically type the word judgment without putting in an extra e every single fucking time. But then that isn’t usually something I post around the neighborhood. Maybe I should though. Like a big ass sign that says “Your day of judgement is coming!!!!” That would be crazy.
admin
i hate the word roommate!
Meredith
Please go read your comment that you left me on this post:
http://www.lifescrazyjoke.com/2010/08/i-am-going-to-win-because-i-always-win.html
It’s WEIGH not WAY when talking about pounds.
When I read it, I thought, it’s a dman good thing she’s so freaking pretty.
admin
WOW!!!!! You should have said something sooner!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! hahahaha
elia
tell Cord, she will correct every word for you….lol.
admin
hahahahahahahaha!
steph gas
ugh. embarrass and exercise always get me too. i want it to be spelled ‘excercise’ soooo bad for some reason. of course, i can’t spell ‘weird’ half of the time either.
the irony is that i can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in my sleep. and i fucking hate mary poppins.
admin
haha! she is a bitch.
Meredith
And I totally spelled DAMN wrong up there. GAH! Me is a village idiot to. (I used the wrong “to” on purpose there.)
admin
loser.
Natalie
All I have to say is thank God for spell check!
admin
I second that!
Lisa
I just refuse to use words that I can’t be sure I’m spelling correctly.
My sign would have read -
FOUND
2 BROWN DOGS
- so I look like a simpleton with good spelling skills, you know, for a simpleton.
admin
ahahahaha!
Teisha
I can also spell like a rockstar. I was always in the spelling bees but I’m not as cool as you and I never won. Sad face. Aaaand I had a fight with blogger the other day over the word embarrassing. I even pulled up dictionary.com to try and prove blogger wrong. Whatever, blogger was right and I had to hang my head in shame. I think at one time it was only spelled with one ‘r’. Right?
admin
you are absolutely right!
Cristina
YouR two funi.
Old School/New School Mom
Love this! I have a love/hate relationship with spell check. I’m a decent speller, but there are certain, shall I say, problem words that I will just never know how to spell. It’s partially laziness, partially my learning disability. Anyway, the point is, that I sort of rely on my friend spell check for words like “successful” and “necessary.” Isn’t that sad?
Thom TheGlassPhoenix
The “…” is called an ellipses. And I am a terrible speller. Congratulations for getting good grammar genes.