Elf On The…Crapper?
Oh Yes I Did.
It’s 4 a.m. and my kid has already seen the Elf, because, of course, BOTH of them decide to wake up at this time, on the weekend my husband’s out of town and I’m navigating this ship on my own.
So, what else is there to do, but bring them both into bed with me?
As we reached my room, the only light was the one shining from my MacBook, prompting Luca to glance at the screen. It was then he saw the photographic evidence of yet to be seen Elfie – on the potty – that I’d already shared with all of you who live in my computer.
Yep, you read that correctly.
Elfie was on the crapper.
And there were poop props, you guys, thanks to my sicko friends.
At 9 pm, after three not small glasses of wine, I’d never heard a more brilliant idea! I ripped open a plastic candy cane full of Hershey kisses, that I’d stashed for Luca’s stocking, and ran into the guest bathroom to execute the poop plan.
Perfectly, I might add.
Hollywood needs to hire me as a
poop prop-man. Prop-woman, for all you feminists out there.
Oh yeah, Luca, I totally forgot to tell you where I just found Elfie! On the potty! Pooping! I took a picture in case he moved before you woke up, but now that you ARE up, let’s go see if he’s still there!
And that’s when it happened.
In the eyes of my three year old son, I became the coolest mom ever.
We laughed and laughed and ewwwwww’ed and laughed so more.
Mind you, it’s now around 4:30 in the morning.
But, just as I was about to put on my mean mom hat, and start demanding everyone go back to sleep, I thought about how much fun we were having. And reminded myself that these moments are few and far between, and one day I’ll be begging for such sweet shenanigans.
So, I went with it. And before I knew it, Luca and I were eating bananas, Leo was drinking from his bottle, and all of us were giggling uncontrollably. In my bed, in the almost-dark.
I was in baby boy bliss. Also, probably a touch delirious.
Then I came back down to earth and remembered I needed to get some sleep, since I’d be parenting solo the rest of the weekend.
So, I clicked on BabyFirst TV nighttime programming, which is totally trippy and makes you feel like you ate some funny mushrooms or something.
What’s this show, mommy?
It’s a special show that makes people super sleepy when they watch it, baby.
Twenty minutes later, both boys knocked out, I was reminded how strong the power of persuasion is.
*Now, I think that pretty much qualifies for the Inappropriate Elf Contest. Don’t you?