I’ve always had a sensitive heart.

Yes, I cry to Chicago and Air Supply to this day, but I’m not talking that kind of sensitive.

I’ve had palpitations and chest pains since college. Even driving myself the emergency room a few times, convinced I was having a heart attack. I was told again and again that it was a panic attack, given a xanax and sent home.

Now, not that I at all minded the xanax, but I am starting to think there is more to my story than generalized anxiety disorder (which I absolutely have, because, duh.)

Let me explain. While I was pregnant I had a super high heart-rate, along with some chest pains and palpitations. Convinced it was that asshole anxiety giving me shit again, I wasn’t too concerned. But, just to be safe, my OB sent me to a cardiologist.

The cardiologist ran some standard tests, EKG, listened to my heart, made this pregnant girl run in place like a fool, and came to the conclusion that I likely have Mitral Valve Prolapse, like my mom. I was relieved it was something benign and went about my pregnancy like I had been – sweaty and bitching about hemorrhoids.

Regardless, the doctor wanted to follow-up with a cardiac echo and some lab work, which was done two weeks ago today.

Yesterday was my follow-up appointment. I went in for the results expecting to be told I was crazy pants and it was just my anxiety rearing its ugly head again, along with the MVP he suspected.

Instead, the doctor sat down and says, “So, I think you may have a tiny hole in your heart.”

What. The. Fuck.

Apparently, there is a significant chance, based on my cardiac echo, that I’ve had a slightly wonky heart since birth.  And, if this is the case, I cannot believe I made it through my Red Bull and vodka days in college. Phew.

He thinks it could be one of two things. I either have what Brett Micheals has (sweet!), which is a hole in your heart that is supposed to close shortly after birth, in some people it doesn’t. If that’s the case, I would take an aspirin a day, because there is a higher risk of stroke associated with this condition, and call it a day. If its not that, its some sort of congenital heart defect, FUN!, and we base treatment on the size and how symptomatic I am.

Next step, I go in for an internal type of EKG, so he can get a closer look. This will likely happen next week. It’s a super simple procedure, similar to an endoscopy. (YAY for being sorta put under! Twilight sleep FOR THE WIN!)

Other than being kind of freaked out, I am feeling pretty normal. Minor pains here and there, but nothing I haven’t felt since, like, always. I can go weeks without feeling anything at all. I also think I may be feeling more now because I am anxious about it all.

I think this calls for a shit-ton of wine this weekend.

I’ll keep y’all posted!

xo