I took Luca to visit my mom’s place here in Houston. She likes to sip on some tequila every night now and then.

My kid got a hold of one of her shot classy sipping glasses, empty of course, and laid himself out on the rug.

~ ~ ~

Leo has been busting a move since he was like six months old. This kid will jam out to anything.

He feels the beat with his whole self.

I finally managed to have my iPhone within arm’s reach, while he was shaking what I gave him.

So, obviously, Luca chose that exact moment to walk in, naked, to proudly proclaim he’d just gone poo-poo…and not even in his pants!

The kid is a total photo-penis-bomber.

I managed to do some really shitty video editing, so I could share Leo’s groovy moves, without being added to some internet sex offender registry.

Passed out little dudes.

Boys busting a move.

People walking around without their pants on.

I am living in a frat house.

Last night I thought to myself…

Tomorrow will be easier than years past. After all, it’s just a date. They were gone yesterday and they’ll still be gone tomorrow.

I woke up to leaky diapers and demands for a Nuttela sandwich. It wasn’t until things had calmed that it hit me.

Four years today.

As much as I want to pretend it’s just another day in this whole nightmare, my heart is aching immensely and I feel like I have an elephant crushing my chest.

Grief is a sneaky beast. It waxes and wanes. Some days the load feels lighter and you think to yourself, “I’ve got this.” Then, the very next day the initial shock and despair and panic come rushing back, like not a day has passed.

Susie, Tommy, Thomas, and sweet Vivi, there will never be words to explain how much you are missed. Nothing will ever fill the gaping hole you left behind in our lives and in our hearts.

We hold tight to your memories, and we carry you with us everywhere we go.

Every second, of every day…for eternity.

As always, if you are an email subscriber, click through to view the video.

Poor Gabby Douglas.

People just won’t stop picking her apart.

First, there was hair-gate.

And then…

Sunday, my friend Meredith mentioned on Skype how disgusted she was, after watching a segment on Entertainment Tonight on the massive debt Gabby’s mother had accumulated.

My reply to this was simply, “Yuck.”

And then I moved on, not thinking too much more about it.

But, last night, I hit play on my DVR to watch some trashy celebrity shit while I was falling asleep. I had completely forgotten about Mer’s comment…until the leading segment on Entertainment Tonight began.

Yes.

The leading segment was all about the tremendous amount of debt Gabby’s mother was in. You know, debt she’s accumulated from sacrificing everything she had for her daughter’s dream. Like most mother’s would for their children.

They talked about how much she owed.

They pondered if Gabby’s new-found fame and money would be used to pay it all off.

They questioned whether any of Gabby’s new celebrity fans (Beyonce and Jennifer Garner) would come galloping in on their horses to help her poor, poor mother out.

They were so concerned about their fucking ratings Gabby’s mother’s financial situation.

I laid in my bed, slack-jawed, at this bullshit ratings grabber. All I kept saying to my dogs was WHAT THE FUCK?

How about leading with a story on this talented young lady’s accomplishments? Or how her mother gave up so much of herself to support her daughter and help her realize her dream of being an Olympian…and how truly outstanding she is because of it.

No, this trashy television show went in the opposite direction, choosing to dissect her mother in the most personal way. And, all of this during such a spectacular and amazing time in this family’s life.

Will the rich people save this poor woman?

Will Gabby help her mother out or spend her money on a new hair stylist?

Stay tuned tomorrow while we talk about her deadbeat dad!

Simply disgusting, spinning such an awesome moment into something so negative, and ripping her apart, rather than lifting her up.

Shame on you, Entertainment Tonight! Way to be a proud American.

I’ve mentioned this show before, but I guess it wasn’t enough for me to turn off the channel.

But, this?

This was enough.

And from now on, I think I’ll get my trashy celeb gossip somewhere else.

Quick! Someone start an Entertainment Tonight Appreciation Day!

It’s a good thing they’re cute.

Also? Is there anyone that doesn’t hate the sound of their own voice?

Oh, right, Celine Dion.

Anyway, I present to you our new morning routine.

Alright, alright, so it was just yesterday’s routine.

Today has consisted of Luca yelling at Leo and me yelling at everyone. It’s been non-stop shitty kid AND parent behavior up in here all morning.

It’s just hard to get video when you’re curled up in a ball in the corner rocking back and forth.

So, here is the happy….

*Email subscribers: you have to click through to view the video, because this shit is stupid.

I had a fabulous time at BlogHer12. Despite a few personal kinks, it was so much fun!

I’ll recap it all tomorrow, but first things first.

Unless you are living under a rock, or just completely ignore me (and, really, who could blame you?), you know I have a tremendous fear of flying – one that’s only intensified as I’ve gotten older. The plane crash made it somewhat worse, but it was there long before that.

My normal M.O. is to get really numb before I fly. Xanax and a Bloody Mary is what my doctor’s prescribed me in the past. Well, the Xanax, anway. I prescribed the Bloody Mary part.

Yesterday started out as one of the worst days ever.

It was Luca’s fourth Birthday, and I’d booked a noon flight so I could get home to celebrate with my big boy.

My cab ride to the airport was a nightmare. I was so carsick by the time we got there that I could barely walk or talk without the fear of puking everywhere (alright, alright, the hangover from 3 am karaoke may have made things a touch worse).

I stepped through the airport doors and into complete chaos.

Two security breaches had the entire terminal on lock-down and it looked more and more like I wouldn’t make it home to my birthday boy.

While checking in for my flight, I did something I rarely do…upgraded to a better seat (and, no, not in first class Meredith). My original seat was at the very back of the plane, but I wanted more room since I was feeling so bad. The $49 was worth every penny, if it meant I could breathe a little easier.

I joined the mob of people in line and waited for TSA to open back up. Still so sick, I was sitting on the floor throwing up in a Toys ‘r Us bag (I took the toys out first of course), because I didn’t want to lose my place in line.

It was unbearable, and I barely held it together. I’m shocked I didn’t beg someone to hold me and gently stroke my hair.

I finally got through security and ran to my gate.

When I reached the gate I realized the running had been for nothing, because United Airlines held the plane at the gate for EACH AND EVERY PASSENGER before taking off. No other way to put it, they were just awesome!

I approached my new seat, at the front of the plane.

Excuse me, I’m sorry, that’s me…

I said to the man in uniform sitting on my row, as I pointed to the empty middle seat.

“No problem!” he said, with a smile.

Also, sorry if I smell. I just ran across the airport. My pants sorta fell down, too.

Yes. These was, indeed, my opener.

Laughing, he said,”You don’t smell.”

I asked him if he was a pilot and he nodded.

OMG. I’m SO HAPPY to sit next to you. I hate flying! I’m gonna ask you so many questions about the noises and other stuff.

I then immediately thought to myself…

That poor, poor man, almost four hours sitting next to ME. He just may jump.

So, as to not be responsible for someone ending it all, I decided I’d just shut up and sit quietly. Or, maybe I’d just talk to the guy on my right…who actually did smell.

But, you know what this awesome man did?

He proceeded to explain to me every single thing about noises, and flying, and what was going to happen next and why, and all the wonderful things about planes that I didn’t know (planes are super smart, you guys), and anything else you could think of – FROM TAKE OFF TO LANDING.

We did not stop talking to each other the entire three hours and forty five minutes. Mostly about flying, but we drifted to other topics, too. Like his beautiful wife…who made his face light up every time he spoke about her.

I didn’t think one negative, weird, creepy, morbid, Allison-Thought the entire time I was on the flight.

I….I….I…wait for it….I didn’t even order anything to drink other than Coke. I haven’t done that on a flight since I was like three years old or something.

This awesome, class-act, devoted family man, and lifelong pilot, had just finished flying across the country, and was hitching a ride back to Houston.

I’m sure all he wanted to do was sleep.

Instead, he got stuck next to a girl who told him things like…

I just puked in a Toys ‘R Us bag in the security line.

And, who went on and on for twenty minutes about the injustices of the world, and then randomly broke into We Are The World.

Oh, oh! What’s your name? I talk about stuff on the internet and I really want to talk about the pilot who took away my fear of flying.

“Maurice Sanders,” he said.

And there you have it folks. My hero has a name and it’s Maurice.

So, Maurice, I just want to say thank you and tell you how much I appreciate YOU. And how I’m pretty convinced that I changed my seat at the last minute and wound up next to you for a weird, fate-y, kind of reason. I’ve never met someone who’s been so kind, classy, knowledgeable, gracious, and patient to a complete stranger in my entire life. You turned a so-far-awful day into an absolutely wonderful one. And, ahem, I hope United Airlines knows what an asset you are to their team.

On a final note, I tweeted about Maurice earlier today.

Had best flight of my life yesterday sitting next to @united pilot Maurice Sanders. I AM NO LONGER AFRAID OF FLYING. (blog post to follow).

— Allison Zapata (@allisonzapata) August 6, 2012

I got so many positive replies, but this one really stood out to me…

@allisonzapata We NEED to not only RT snarky tweets and products.. but everyday people doing extraordinary things. — Danielle Randall (@MomAllDay) August 6, 2012

I couldn’t agree more. And while it may not seem all that extraordinary to some, it meant so much to me and completely turned things around when I really needed them to be turned.

So, I’ve never asked this before, but if you have the time, I would love for you to share this. I’ll be your best friend and promise never to sit next to you on an airplane.

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful week!

xo

Update! You guys are so awesome for sharing my story, and it WORKED!!

@allisonzapata We’re sending your post & tweets to Maurice so he knows what a difference he made. We hope to see you on board again soon.

— United (@united) August 7, 2012

I wasn’t gonna say anything, but….

I thought I’d gather my rants from throughout the day and put them together here.

Today is officially one of the dumbest fucking days in America.

— Allison Zapata (@allisonzapata) August 1, 2012

Last week I saw a link on Facebook for Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day.

I half-thought it was a joke. Then today I woke up to a shit-show on my social networking feeds.

Turns out, it was for serious.

I saw comments like…

“Yum, Chick-Fil-A!”

“I’m in line and it’s packed! Excited to see this amount of support!!”

And, my favorite…

“I had free speech for lunch!”

Many of these were peppered with, “Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I LOVE gay people. I’m just standing up for free speech!”

And, that’s where I call bullshit.

In my opinion, those who so fervently supported the dumbest fucking day in America were simply using the First Amendment to camouflage the way they really feel. Like cowards, they hide behind the Constitution, because they dislike gay people…for whatever reason – a religious book that’s their truth, homophobia, or good ol’ down-home family values.

Because, somewhere inside, even they know that saying these things out loud makes them sound like a huge dick.

And, fine, it’s their choice to be a dick. It’s being a hypocrite I take issue with.

Here’s the thing.

Everyone knows how strongly I support equal rights. So, it may come as a surprise to learn that I don’t have a problem with the chicken-guy’s stance on gay-marriage.

Because, no matter how small your mind is, or how much you judge others, I do believe each of us are entitled to free speech.

Personally, I’m sure I’ll eat at CFA again one day. I have two kids and I’m lazy. But, right now I have a really bad taste in my mouth, because such a large number of their profits are used to support such a hateful agenda.

And, I don’t care who eats there. Of course, I won’t automatically think you are an asshole or homophobe, just because you love you some waffle fries.

But, I might-sorta-do think you’re an asshole if you were that gung-ho and enthusiastic in supporting the dumbest fucking day in America.

And, I definitely think you’re a hypocrite by pretending it was because of the First Amendment.

Because…

People are not putting chicken-guy in jail for his views, and he isn’t being stoned to death.

So, so what if people CHOOSE not to like his views or support his establishment.

That’s their freedom of speech.

To come out in full force and say some of the things I heard today, as to why people support CFA, kills me.

Don’t they see it?

Don’t they know there are gay kids soaking in every hateful word?

These kids don’t hear free speech. They hear that they’re abnormal, and not worthy enough to be free in the land of the free.

When some of these kids kill themselves, which they will, it is these people’s fault. They gave them the rope they used to hang themselves, and the gun that blew their head off.

Let’s flip sides for a moment with a fast-food hypothetical. I mean, why not, it is the dumbest fucking day in America.

Imagine the owner of Whataburger proclaimed himself an atheist. And, that’s not all. He also donated five million big ones to fund Planned Parenthood.

You can bet your bible-thumping, holier than thou, judgmental, fake Christian ASS, that these people would be boycotting some fancy fucking ketchup.

I mean, sure, I’d call them idiots, but I certainly wouldn’t go out and declare it Whataburger Appreciation Day.

If they chose to no longer support Whataburger, I wouldn’t give a shit, because it would be their right.

So, eat wherever you want to eat, and support whoever you want to support.

But, at least have the balls to admit the real reason behind it, rather than hiding behind politics and freedom of speech.

I declare tomorrow National Abortion Clinic Appreciation Day. ABORTIONS FOR ALL! Lights snacks will be provided.

— Allison Zapata (@allisonzapata) August 1, 2012