Archive for November, 2012

Project: We See You

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It’s Christmas time.

It’s cold outside (cool, if you’re in Texas).

It’s such a heavy time for many.

And, it’s time for me to walk the talk.

On the agenda this weekend: A trip to Costco for supplies to put in my We See You bags, which I’ll keep in my car, ready to whip out when I meet someone who could use a leg up.

I would love for you guys to join me, even if you put together just one! That’s one HUMAN BEING that you’re helping.

What will I put in them?

Blankets, sweatshirts, socks, a toothbrush/paste, energy bars, water, wipies…..

I would love your ideas on what else might be useful to someone living without.

Update to local businesses willing to pitch in. Here is what we need.

Feminine products, underwear, socks, wipies, deodorant, t-shirts, sweats, waterproof ponchos, lip balm, water bottles, blankets, ear plugs, first aid items, canned goods, water bottles (reusable and plastic), shampoo, combs/brushes. bus passes, stamps, cards, tote bags, AND ANYTHING ELSE WE TAKE FOR GRANTED.

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The People At SkyMall Smoke A Lot of Weed.

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But, do they make one for children…

For the Weenie Enthusiast…

He may be sleeping comfortably, but the person next to him will have nightmares for years…

When mom’s just not embarrassing enough…

It’s nice to see someone catering to the color blind…

SkyMall: Saving marriages, one pill at a time.
Before: Wait, I have to touch…that?
After: I can’t get keep my hands off her! Thank you SkyMall!

So you can breathe easy, while being gruesomely attacked by bumble bees…

Because being a creeper is so much more appealing than being a baldy…

Because, nothing is cozier than curling up with a supreme pizza…

Because, obviously…

What mom doesn’t need more children peeing on everything….

What spells romantic more than a glass of wine under the stars…next to a zombie and Sasquatch? Nothing, I say…

Shit-faced cats are all the rage this year…

For those times you want to have the hiccups and look like an idiot…

Because dogs deserve to look like douchebags, too…

He will murder all of the people…after this quick cat-nap…

For the man who never wants to get laid again…

Let me pop this Ecstasy and take a quick shower before school drop-off…

Model-Kitty demands more privacy…

Because I need more shit cluttering up my bedside table…

Honey, that’s not your ass you’re scratching…

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Leslie: My Photographer…My Friend.

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I met Leslie Gaworecki during my search for our wedding photographer.

Even before I saw her work, I knew she was the one for me.

I could sense her gentle spirit and her kind soul….and we just clicked.

And, she did not disappoint….as a photographer, or a person.

She captured so much that day.

Nerves….

Excitement….

Celebration…

Love…

And beautiful keepsakes of the four family members we would unexpectedly lose just two years later…

 

She’s given us a huge gift, allowing us to measure our children’s growth through her photographs…

And, she’s stuck with our insane family all these years, capturing memories sure to have otherwise been forgotten…

Nearly seven years have passed since I met Leslie.

And, things have changed.

I’m no longer the giddy, naive girl I was that day I walked into her office.

I’ve been hit with hard-cold life, tragedy, and blessings too big to count…each event written in soft lines around my eyes.

It’s no longer just me.

My family of one is now four.

And my dear friend is still beautifully chronicling this funny little journey called life.

Thank you, Leslie, for putting up with my crazy. And, for knowing me just well enough to capture who we are.

I’m forever grateful for you, my friend.

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Sometimes You Just Have to Dance.

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Luca had a sleepless night.

He was up and down, and couldn’t get settled.

His foot hurt and then his back itched and he needed hugs and medicine and more hugs.

This morning he rolled over on top of me and said, “Mommy, can I play hooky today? PLEEEEEASE!”

And, although I have a million things to do, I said yes.

My mini-me has been oh-so-sensitive lately…breakable almost. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but I do know that being close to me helps to mend it.

So, play hooky he did.

And, I spent the morning dishing out the best my-baby’s-got-the-blues medicine ever: Pancakes, bacon, and a dance party.

It was just what the doctor ordered.

We got this fun CD at Luca’s friend’s birthday party yesterday.

Luca’s buddy’s dad is part of this awesome band, and they played music for, and with, all the kiddos yesterday.

They even got me moving…no easy feat, considering I’d spent the previous night dancing to Dumpstaphunk until the wee hours of the morning.

You can check out the Homemade Band HERE.

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Hold Your Haunches Leggings: A Review and a Little Something For You!

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Oh, Winter, how I love thee. The smell of fireplaces burning, the absence of sweat rings, a better complexion, and the two snow flurries that fall on my city every five years, all come together to make it my favorite time of year. But, my absolute favorite part of Old Man Winter is that I can finally pull out my leggings, top them off with a long sweater or tunic, and throw on some boots. Leaving me feeling way fancier than I do during the other three seasons combined.

Since this is my uniform the second it falls below sixty degrees outside, I’m on a forever mission to find the perfect pair of leggings. They can’t be too bulky, nor too sheer. They need to fit to my body, so I don’t have to adjust them every five minutes. And, most importantly, they must camouflage my belly bulge in just the right spot…a tall order after two c-sections.

If I had a penny for every time someone told me, “Just wear Spanx!” I’d be as rich as the woman who invented them. But, try as I might, they’re just not for me. Mostly, it comes down to logistics. I simply don’t have the four hours it takes to put them on. Plus, once they are on, I don’t feel like myself. Not being able to breathe will do that to you. I’ve never stopped trying to make them work, though. Evident by the three pairs of waded up Spanx you’ll find thrown in the backseat of my car. There’s not been a single time I haven’t taken them off en route to my destination.

Earlier this year, around the time my thighs were still sticking to the seat of my car, I began following the lovely ladies who created Hold Your Haunches. So, when my local meteorologist was shouting about our first cold front, I decided it was time to try out these miracle leggings.

I let my finger hover over the “confirm payment” button for a while, because these babies are not a drop in the bucket, and way more than I’m used to spending on leggings. But, keeping in mind they’re shapewear and leggings all in one, I finally allowed myself to splurge.

I’ve been wearing them ever since.

Truly, they are the best thing since sliced cheese. And, coincidentally, they totally smooth-out the cheese on my butt and thighs.

Speaking of butts, I’ve never really had one. But, these leggings not only boost my self esteem, but my booty as well.

I can even do really crazy, off the wall, things in them, like eat and breathe.

From waist to calf, they are lined with a medical-grade compression shell. They’re shape-wear and leggings all in one, with an extendable waistband, because no two tummies are alike.

Hold Your Haunches come in three different styles: Boot-cut, legging, and capri.

And, it gets better!

Erin and Jenny will be offering these same styles, in their soon-to-be launched plus-sized line.

After raving about these leggings for a few weeks, Erin and Jenny asked me if I’d write a review.

I not only took them up on the offer, but I went a step further and forced my husband to take a picture of my butt at the very wholesome pumpkin patch down the street.

These leggings make me so happy, that I don’t even notice when my kids are trying to kill each other.

And, I wasn’t done yet. A few days later I asked my hair stylist to snap a picture of my butt, too.

Sadly, in order to make it to his next client, he was finally forced to yell, “It’s a wrap! Jesus, Allison, get a grip!”

My behind is feeling so happy and bubbly, that I want yours to feel that way, too.

For a chance at a happier butt, all you have to do is leave a comment telling us what your go-to outfit is when the outside temperature dips. A randomly chosen winner will receive one pair of Hold Your Haunches, the style of their choosing. Entries will close 7 days from the publishing of this post. Winner will be notified via email.

For an extra chance to win, leave your comment here, then head on over and “like” them on Facebook.

Trust me, your butt will thank my butt for it.

Good luck!

admin

The Last 24 Hours.

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There are a lot of videos on this here internet.

A lot.

But, I have one in particular I’d like to share with you.

Because he is my friend.

And his name is Blaine.

He is intelligent, funny, witty, compassionate, and loving.

And he’s really hot.

He is an upstanding, and outstanding, person, who contributes to this society in the same ways you and I do. The only problem is that some of society doesn’t believe he’s entitled to the same rights that you and I have.

This is not the America I want to live in, nor one that I’m proud of.

Sure, there are many, many wonderful things that I love about this great nation of ours, but, sadly, this bigotry negates so much of that for me.

I know things are changing.

I know that bigots are a dying breed….I just wish that would happen more quickly.

Anyone that can say Land of The Free with a straight face…well…I just don’t know about you.

But, as for me, I will not shut up until my friends, and all Americans, have the same rights as I do.

If you really love this country and all that it stands for, you shouldn’t either.

If anyone else has something they’d like to say, shoot me a link, or your words, and I’ll put them here.

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