But, do they make one for children…

For the Weenie Enthusiast…

He may be sleeping comfortably, but the person next to him will have nightmares for years…

When mom’s just not embarrassing enough…

It’s nice to see someone catering to the color blind…

SkyMall: Saving marriages, one pill at a time.
Before: Wait, I have to touch…that?
After: I can’t get keep my hands off her! Thank you SkyMall!

So you can breathe easy, while being gruesomely attacked by bumble bees…

Because being a creeper is so much more appealing than being a baldy…

Because, nothing is cozier than curling up with a supreme pizza…

Because, obviously…

What mom doesn’t need more children peeing on everything….

What spells romantic more than a glass of wine under the stars…next to a zombie and Sasquatch? Nothing, I say…

Shit-faced cats are all the rage this year…

For those times you want to have the hiccups and look like an idiot…

Because dogs deserve to look like douchebags, too…

He will murder all of the people…after this quick cat-nap…

For the man who never wants to get laid again…

Let me pop this Ecstasy and take a quick shower before school drop-off…

Model-Kitty demands more privacy…

Because I need more shit cluttering up my bedside table…

Honey, that’s not your ass you’re scratching…