Last night, while I was fake-sleeping next to Kim Jong, I came across THIS NUGGET on my iPhone.

The gist of the article, entitled, “Kirk Cameron: Calling Gays ‘Destructive And Unnatural’ Is Love Speech,” goes a little something like this:

“Cameron says when you persecute gays you “speak the truth in love.

‘The truth is always love speech, it’s not hate speech. The truth, communicated with compassion, with the desire to see people in a right relationship with God, helped, and healed, and whole, is the most genuine form of love speech you can give to anyone.’”

It took all I had not to nudge my kid from is own fake-sleep and say, “Can you believe this asshole!”

But, rather than exposing my sweet boy to the real boogie men of the world, I took my rage to the internet.

Thankfully, my dear friends who live in my computer were just as disgusted by the has-been’s tired and bigoted remarks.

Here’s the thing.

There are so many people who spew this brand of hateful rhetoric, and, “Oh so controversial look at me! Look at me!” bullshit.

But, most of the time, I don’t believe that they even believe the things they’re saying. But, sadly, dollar signs can turn a lot of people into dicks.

But, Kirk?

I think he truly believes the things he says.

I’d put money on the fact that he’s just as bat shit crazy as he comes off.

The article goes on to say,

“For the record, Cameron calls homosexuality a “behavior,” and says “just because you feel one way doesn’t mean we should act on everything we feel.

‘Marriage is almost as old as dirt, and it was defined in the garden between Adam and Eve,” Cameron also told Piers Morgan. “One man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would never attempt to try to redefine marriage. And I don’t think anyone else should either. So do I support the idea of gay marriage? No, I don’t.’”

Oh, golly gee Kirk, you’re so fucking insightful.

And, by insightful, I mean you’re a loose cannon, a bigoted asshole, and a danger to our society.

People, particularly children and young adults, kill themselves  all the time  when they hear  ignorant people like you  shouting from the rooftops  that they are somehow abnormal.

When, in reality people like you are the only abnormal ones.

When kids hear someone tell them that they should be ashamed of who they are, and that they shouldn’t be who they are, they believe it.

They are far too young to know that you’re really just a weak, little man who despises himself.

Every time a gay teenager or child commits suicide, it’s because of people like YOU.

Yeah, I said it.

Mike Seaver is killing gay people.

GASP!

It’s true.

Their blood is on his hands.

And Kirk-the-Jerk has SIX CHILDREN.

Six kids who are exposed to this kind of hate speech, daily.

Six kids who will likely go to school and bully other kids, because of what they’re learning at home – that it’s acceptable to do so.

And, what if one of his kids is gay?

Ugh. The thought of that makes my stomach turn. A child living in a house where they cannot be themselves. Coming home each day to a place that should be their safe zone, a place where they should be supported and loved no matter who they are. But, instead, they come home to a place where they feel nothing other than shame, fear, and self-loathing.

Kirk, I don’t give a shit what your bible says.

I don’t care what your god says.

You have the right to believe what you choose to believe.

But, you do not have the right to project your hateful, antiquated, despicable bullshit on the rest of society, simply because you’re a washed up actor trying to stay relevant.

You are irrelevant.

You are toxic.

You are a fear-monger.

You are a bully.

You are a fake Christian.

You cannot fool me with your sweet, little, curly head of hair, and shit-bag grin.

You’re no different than some skin-head, white supremacist asshole. You’re the boogie man in disguise, hiding behind some fucked up version of religion.

You are hate.

The only unnatural people are those they care about some random dude’s sexual preference.

For Christ’s sake, you had a friend named Boner for years.

But, fortunately, you are the minority, the outcast, and the sinner.

Each time I hear people like you open their disgusting mouths, my head explodes.

But, then, I put something like this out, and all the goodness and decency returned allows my soul to smile again.

You are a dying breed, Mike Seaver.

I thank GOD for that.

And, with all due respect, please shut the fuck up.

P.S. You’ve been replaced with Alex P. Keaton, even if he was a little conservative for my taste.

I’ve always been what they call a guy’s girl.

In high school, I felt much more at ease hanging out with the dudes.

Drinking cheap beer, and listening to gross boy jokes, always felt much less stressful than going shopping with the girls.

Part of this was surely due to the fact that I was never really into makeup, and all those other things girls are supposed to be into.

But, looking back, I’ve slowly come to realize that it had much more to do with how incredibly insecure I was, than with me actually digging beer-burps and fart jokes.

I felt unworthy to have really great girlfriends.

I’m not sure if that makes any sense. It’s never been an easy thing for me to articulate.

Back in high school, when it was just me and the guys? I never felt left out like I did with the girls.

Sadly enough, in hindsight, the male attention, the wrong kind of attention, was a huge part of that. I knew I had something to offer the boys…I knew how to make them like me. But, what did I have to offer to the girls?

If you’re thinking right about now, “Boy, that chick had some daddy issues,” you’d be correct, my friends.

Moving on…

The terribly tragic part was, for the most part, I was the one making myself feel left out. Most of it stemmed from my own issues and insecurities, that I was merely projecting onto others.

You know how it goes.

The, I’m feeling so fat today/I bet everyone thinks I look fat today thing. Or, the I’m not feeling like the funny girl today and what else could they possibly like about me shit.

We believe that other people see us through our own eyes.

In my defense, there were circumstances that made things harder for me, at an already difficult time in my adolescence.

I moved to a new city the summer before my freshman year and, culturally, it was the exact opposite of where I’d lived my entire life. And, if we’re being honest here, the girls were not all that accepting of my huge boobs, East Texas accent, and the insecure smile that was permanently plastered on my face. They were, to put it mildly, very slow to warm.

The boys offered me a slightly warmer welcome, eagerly accepting me and my above mentioned attributes. Obviously, this wasn’t because they wanted me to have the other half of their BFF necklace, or french braid my hair, but more because they wanted to….well, you know.

The popular girls did end up accepting me, finally, and I’m still great friends with some of them to this day.

But, despite the fact that I was in with the in-crowd of girls, I still felt very much alone a lot of the time. And still preferred to hang out with the guys.

I just didn’t get the beauty of a truly great female friendship, and all that it had to offer…all I had to offer.

I did some things that make me cringe today. When I think of them, I shake my head back and forth, frantic to push the memories and the guilt out of my conscious.

I kissed other girls’ boyfriends. Girls that I called my friends. I didn’t keep secrets as well as I should have. I changed my personality, like a chameleon, to fit in with whomever I was hanging out with.

I sabotaged.

To be fair, or maybe just to make myself look better to you guys, they had their way with my boyfriends, too. But, that still doesn’t make any of the things I did acceptable.

And, now I can’t get this out of my head.

Sigh. Such fucking poetry.

Anyway, where was I?

As I got older, and my confidence grew, I began to let my guard down and welcome the gift of a great girlfriend. I understood that it wasn’t about competing with my female counterparts, it was about supporting them. I figured out that those women who do try and compete with you, aren’t worth anyone’s time and energy. And, I finally stopped giving a shit if those types of people liked me or not.

I learned there are some truly wonderful women out there, who would do anything for their friends, and accept all of them, without a single ounce of  judgment.

And, bonus, I don’t even have to let any of them feel me up. They just like me…for me.

(Listen to me, all you young girls out there, male attention is insincere, fleeting, and NOT REAL. Repeat after me: I am better than that. I have so much more to offer.)

With age has come the wisdom that I have so much more to offer than big boobs and french kisses. And that someone can love and need me for all that I am…just as much as I love them and need them for all that they are.

I still dig hanging out with the guys. They are easy and can be way less judgmental.

And, I’m still not crazy about shopping and makeup, and all those other things women are supposed to be into. Though, I do appreciate a good mascara and great pair of shoes way more than I used to.

But, a funny thing has happened. And, by funny, I mean incredibly awesome.

At 34 years old, I have so many more girl-friends than I do guy-friends. I have this huge, amazing, awesome network of women that I love and cherish beyond measure. I’ve learned what being a true friend is all about, and I would do anything for my girls.

And, unlike high school, I’d never think of flirting with another woman’s man. But, I would kick them in the nuts if they even so much as looked my way…in that way.

Also, guess what?

My girls?

My wonderful, supportive, awesome girls…

They feel the same way about me.

And I am so fucking worthy.